No Sweet reward

Tim Bearden
Editor-in-chief


President Barack Obama spoke to the nation on July 22 regarding his health care package and the economy.

Leave it to the Chicago Sun-Times White House correspondent to get off task. Lynn Sweet, whom I never liked covering the president anyway, asked about Henry Lewis "Skip" Gates' arrest and race relations in America.

You wonder why your paper is in the tank. We're still in one of the worst recessions in 50 years, health care is a hot button topic and you asked about a professor who was locked out of his home. Knocked that one out of the park didn't you Sweet. Way to ask the tough questions.

You wonder why your paper is in the tank? It's coverage like that and your past coverage of Obama that makes people not able to take you seriously. I'm reminded of your bracket columns during March Madness when people the government loaned money to were taking large bonuses.

Are you the sole reason your paper is struggling? Of course not, that would just be unfair to Conrad Black. But columnists like you aren't helping.

I'm not taking away from the importance of race relations in America. It is an important issue and racial profiling does need to be addressed, as Obama said in reply. But there is a time and a place for questions like that.

That's why Robert Gibbs, Obama's press secretary, has daily new briefings. Ask him about it. He'll get an answer from the president for you.

While a press conference is a good way to get your questions answered, use your head Sweet. It's like asking about the president's wardrobe for a ball during a hostage crisis. It's not the time nor the place.

I expected more from a seasoned journalist. Then again...

Kathy Griffin to host Rivers Roast

Tim Bearden
Editor-in-chief

Kathy Griffin. Who would have thunk it? A woman with a loud and annoying voice has been selected to roast the comedic icon Joan Rivers.

Since most of the people who know Rivers are either dead or extremely old I would like to remind them to not only stay in their coffins, but also turn down your Beltones. When either woman gets to the mic it'll sound like the clanging of aluminum trash can lids in your ears.

But, why Griffin? Was Fran Drescher unavailable? Is Wanda Sykes too busy palling around with Julia Louis-Dreyfus? I'm sure either of them could compete with Rivers' in a shouting for attention match better than Griffin.

What's most surprising about Griffin being the master of ceremonies is that she is actually working. I thought Comedy Central mainly chose emcee's who were either washed up T.V. stars, B-List comics or reality stars.

Oh, wait! Griffin is a reality T.V. star--an Emmy Award-winning reality TV star. Her life on the D-List has brought her.up to the B-List.

Not to take away from Griffin's talents. She is a funny comedienne, but I find it odd that Rivers, known for her boisterous critiques on the red carpet, is being roasted by someone who is equally piercing. That's what America wants, two cats howling into its ears for an hour.

At any rate, congratulations Griffin, now you can make fun of an A-list comic with a B-List billing.

Rivers roasted equals comedy drought

Tim Bearden
Editor-in-chief

Comedy Central just announced it's latest roast victim, Joan Rivers.

Joan Rivers is an accomplished comedian with such credits to her resume as Spaceballs, the Academy Awards' Red Carpet walk and The Last Supper. It's probably the fact the plastic hasn't melted her face off under the bright lights of the Oscars that made Comedy Central comfortable to do this roast.

The roast masters will most likely be Greg Giraldo, Lisa Lampenelli and God, in his first roast appearance. Anyone who basically isn't that busy. Lampenelli is the only one with a fully operating career right now. As we can see from the wars erupting and Daniel Tosh getting his own show, God's on vacation.

Comedy Central got it right, for a change, and is roasting someone worthy of it. Let's just hope her robot parts don't rust on the way to the studio.

Cramer wrongfully victimized by Stewart

Tim Bearden
Editor-in-chief

Alright, so Jim Cramer of CNBC’s “Mad Money” wasn’t wrongfully victimized, but that headline got your attention and that’s my point.

As Jon Stewart of Comedy Central’s “Daily Show” said in his interview with Cramer, this is the same exploitation of possibly inaccurate information and advice given by the commentators and reporters of CNBC.

Stewart has been lampooning CNBC this past week after reporter Rick Santelli was seen on the floor of the Chicago Mercantile Exchange shouting about bailout money going to home-owners. Much to his dismay, I’m sure, Cramer decided it would be a good idea to become, as Stewart put it, the face of CNBC.

But that’s also not the point of this column. The point of this column is we have found true journalism in comedy and that’s both ironic and funny, but not necessarily “funny ha-ha” more like “funny uh-oh” as Yakko Warner would put it. (But misdirection keeps you reading)

Comics tend to turn to the news makers for material. The idea of current events comedy is what started “The Daily Show.” You recap the events of the day, week, month or year and put your own spin to it.

Stewart has taken this a step farther, whether he wanted to or not, and is becoming the watcher of the watchdogs.

Perhaps the best clip of the past week’s war with the financial station was when a reporter, asked one executive accused of Ponzi schemes “What’s it like to be a billionaire?”

Hard hitting, isn’t it? That’s point Stewart was making and he’s absolutely right. It’s sad and stupid that we have to get this information from the same guy who was in Half Baked asking “Have you ever seen the back of a $20 dollar bill…on weed!”

Why can’t more journalists call out other journalists? Because the newspapers or shows they work for are part of the same company. Let’s take the Chicago Tribune, for example.

Tribune Media Co. is owned by Sam Zell. His media group has not only the Trib, but also WGN-TV, WGN Radio and CLTV. Now, let’s make believe CLTV had mostly commentators instead of reporters, like a lot of the national media.

Would that group honestly call out CLTV the same way CNBC was called out by Comedy Central? No, absolutely not, even though they probably know more of what goes on than other media outlets. If they screwed up, it would be news in competing papers, but it would most likely die. Journalists have other things to worry about a lot of the time, such as it not happening to them.

Then again the Trib doesn’t really need to worry about any kind of controversy, considering gossip is such a big deal for Colonel Tribune, the newspapers resident tweeter. Bristol Palin and her boyfriend breaking up was big enough news for him to hop on Twitter.com and get excited about, which was first reported by the Associated Press. And I’m pretty sure these people have more things to worry about than the daughter of a failing Alaskan Gov.’s social life.

Anyway, back on message. From a business stand-point, chastising your own affiliate would cut into your profit margins and, much like what the rest of the market has been doing, your stock would tank. As Chuck Klosterman said in his book Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs, journalism is a business owned by “massive conservative corporations” and they “own everything.” And all those CEO’s know are profit margins.

Editors know that, so they try to keep bad news about their business--(drumroll) out of the news.

CNBC failed and Cramer became the spokesman. The hard-hitting financial network reported on more fluff and crap than the comedy news show. In turn failed to see the bigger picture of what was not just happening, but what they were perpetuating too.

Stewart noticed this, Stewart called them out and it’s ridiculous the journalists missed it.

We’re supposed to be the watchdogs of society, but we were too busy knawing on the bones of G.W. to notice a huge mistake in our own backyard.

Watchmen induces mixed feelings

Tim Bearden
Editor-in-chief

I really wanted to like the Watchmen, but the movie was more two-dimensional than the comic.

That’s not to say the movie was horrible, because it wasn’t. It’s also not to say the effort wasn’t somewhat of a cinematic achievement, because it was. But director Zach Snyder got stuck in the same pitfall that made 300 less than appealing, the story and characters were flat.

Snyder is most revered for his visual directing style and rightfully so, which is why a 600-word review cannot begin to capture the complexity of the film, much like three hours wasn’t enough to capture the complexity of the book. Or was it?

Peter Jackson accurately portrayed each 500 plus page Lord of the Rings book with a movie that was both enjoyable to fans and beginners alike. Each of the theatrical releases was about three hours in length. He was able to give the characters depth, make the viewer believe this alternate world existed and stay true to the story line while remaining visually compelling.

The “Watchmen” graphic novel was about 100 pages less, but it was arguably more complex than “Lord of the Rings.” Within the graphic novel there are many competing story lines woven into one larger story. Snyder, while staying true to the art of the book, just couldn’t bring a majority of these characters to life or lift the story from the page.

One major problem with his adaptation was the emphasis he put on the superheroes. I can respect he did this for the viewers who had not read “Watchmen,” but at the same time I have to chastise him for it. Superheroes were merely a plot device of the book, not the central focus. The central focus was the contempt mankind had for itself and each other.

To put it historically, the book, set in alternate 1985 New York, was written around the same time Bernhard Goetz had just shot four men who were attempting to mug him in a New York subway. From the acclaim he got for being a vigilante, he became a martyr, which is the same kind of story the Watchmen seemed to convey.

It was that underlying story that made the book a New York Times Bestseller and one of Time Magazines “Top 100 Books of all Time,” not the visuals. If you were to take the comic aspect away from the novel, you would have the same amazing book with the same interesting characters and story.

In order to really criticize the other major flaws with the film, I have to briefly describe the philosophy (which could have been written by Nietzsche himself), psychology (which really captures both sociopathic behavior and the “Peter Pan” syndrome) and human condition (mankind ultimately wanting to destroy itself) without losing the integrity along the way. Much like the film had to do and failed at. See why 600-words can’t do this justice?

But, to his credit, Rorschach and Dr. Manhattan had the depth and complexity they deserved. They were major players in the comic and I like the fact Snyder stayed true to them.

Their separate story lines were just as important in the movie as they were in the novel, but I still didn’t feel as though the alternate 1985 was real, like I did when I read it.

Terry Gilliam is well-known for making an alternate universe feel real (i.e. Brazil, The Fisher King and Tideland) and Watchmen is placed in an alternate 1985. When he attempted not once, but twice to make this film and said he couldn’t do it that should speak volumes. But it didn’t. And just like Gilliam goes over budget, I’m going over word count.

Basically, Snyder, this piece was too big for you when a seasoned filmmaker openly admits defeat, but the fanboy attempt does not go unnoticed (being a fanboy myself), no matter how handicapped or half-hearted that attempt may have seemed.

Robin Williams' medical issues

Tim Bearden
Editor-in-chief

Robin Williams, who is scheduled to be in Chicago for his first performance in late March, had to postpone four stops of his "Weapons of Self-Destruction" tour due to health issues.

According to the press release, Williams is being evaluated by doctors and was suggested to take a week of rest. He was reported having "shortness of breath."

Williams probably replied "God was under twice as much stress and he only rested one day. Bite me."

Then again, the 57-year-old comic probably is at the stage of his life that he'll still listen to doctors despite being annoyed.

It comes as no surprise Williams is experiencing shortness of breath, especially with his style of comedy. His high energy, A.D.D. routines would cause even the most adept meth addict a heart attack.

The energy Williams performs with is higher than I have seen with any reputable comedian. His comedic allure has always been the off-the-wall, Tazmanian Devil approach to material.

It still makes you wonder, if this great will fall soon too. In the past year we've had two comedians die from "health complications," the late George Carlin and Bernie Mac. As everyone knows bad things happens in threes. This would be contemporary comedy's third.

Not that I'm wishing any ill-will toward Williams. In fact, quite the opposite. I hope for a speedy recovery followed by a long life of performance. I love his comedy and appreciate his passion and ability to perform with such high energy.

This is why he is one of comedy's greats. We at Comedy Corner Magazine wish him well and want Williams to know Dog is watching over him.

Robin's kind of town

After his "pop in" visit last year to Lakeshore Theater, Robin Williams left Chicago wanting more.

The wait is over as he has announced two shows at the Rosemont Theater in Rosemont, Ill. The legendary comedian will be back in the Chicago area on both March 27 (sold out) and April 18 to perform for Windy City fans.

Tickets range from $49.50 to $95. Supply and demand charts prove his show is not overpriced.

Seinfeld sells out

Tim Bearden
Editor-in-chief

Everyone knew Jerry Seinfeld would make a return to prime time.

He and his good friend Larry David left the original sitcom fairly open ended, just in case they’d want to return to it. But there’s not a TV exec, comedian or entertainment junky that could have seen this coming. Seinfeld making a reality show, one he’s not even in.

His documentary “Comedian” could act as an indicator as to why he wants to do this, reality is funnier than anything scripted. A documentary is one thing, but to sink low enough to reality television is unfathomable, especially for Seinfeld.

Reality TV has proven to be popular. Shows like American Idol, Survivor, Big Brother or any piece of white trash programming VH1 comes up with are huge money makers and rating hogs. NBC picking up Seinfeld’s The Marriage Ref comes as no surprise. Hell, they’ve allowed Last Comic Standing to continue despite the fact it basically degrades comedy and the profession, so why not.

But Seinfeld is better than that, or so people thought. The press release from NBC said the show “will feature opinionated celebrities, comedians and sports stars who will candidly comment, judge and offer different strategies for real-life couples in the midst of a classic marital dispute.”

Even Dr. Phil is changing the channel at this point.

A lot of comedians have been divorced at least once and if they haven’t yet, it’s either coming soon or it’s the rare marriage that can last a lifetime. In the age of TMZ, Perez Hilton and other “e-news” reports about celebrities getting divorced and remarried and divorced again happen all the time. As for sports stars, reference Michael Jordan or Magic Johnson, no more needs to be said. So who better than to delegate a marriage than people who can barely keep one themselves?

People are denouncing this idea all over. Comments on blogs reference old Seinfeld characters like the Soup Nazi or Babu Bhatt trashing the idea. “No Soup for you!” or “Very bad Jerry. Veeeerrrry bad” is a general consensus among the audience. So, NBC, if people who love the show enough to not only have screen names from Seinfeld characters, but also quote them against a new Seinfeld created show, who’s the target audience?

If the network is looking for funny angles to really explore, then why not invite people from ABC’s The Bachelor, The Bachelorette or Fox’s Joe Millionaire to be a part of this comedy counseling. If anyone would need it, it’d be those contestants.

Picking up the idea just because he’s Seinfeld, doesn’t make it a good idea, just a cheap marketing ploy. “Must see TV,” has become nothing more than “Now missing the point.”

"Cable guy's" roast window closing soon

This week Comedy Central announced their roasters for Larry the Cable Guy.

Well funny be damned, even a hack comedian gets a roast. Jeff Foxworthy did too, so it's only fair, right? What's next, Dane Cook?

Execs at the Viacom owned network right now are probably saying, "Oooo! We never thought of him."

Among the roasters are Nick DiPaolo, Jeffrey Ross, Greg Giraldo and Lisa Lampanelli. Who hasn't seen their smiling faces enough during a CC roast? It's like the network has them on contract as professional roasters too, which can't be such a bad thing. Between the four of them, Lisa Lampanelli is the only person with a career.

But choosing her for a roast of a white redneck "from the south" is questionable too.

"How many jokes can you make about black cock," Robert Bykowski, 27-year-old Chicago resident, said.

Not too many in the Confederacy, one would imagine. If anyone can make such a stupid event funny, it would be Lampanelli. Who else could we lean against? Dan Marino, the hall of fame quarterback from the Miami Dolphins. His comedy experience doesn't reach past Ace Ventura, and that's stretching it. Next.

Toby Keith, the country music sensation. OK, he falls into the "from the south" category. His music videos are pretty humorous. But his comedy would have to be prewritten and come in the form of a song. Try again.

The only other salvation so far is Drew Carey, who must not be earning enough on "The Price is Right" to sign up for this B-List gig.

A roast is generally celebrating the achievements of one person. Denis Leary was roasted, Bob Sagat was roasted and well, that's the end of the worthy comedy roasts. It is agreed that Pamela Anderson and William Shatner were not comedy roasts, but they do have a long career of achievements, sort of.

What about Steve Martin, Eddie Murphy, Dave Barry, Bill Cosby, Robin Williams, Dave Chappelle, Chris Rock, Jim Carey (getting iffy), etc. The list goes on.

"Maybe they wouldn't agree to it," Bykowski speculated.

He also said the Blue Collar Comedy Tour has made Comedy Central a lot of money with Blue Collar TV and the tour being replayed at least twice a week.

He's right. For a network that has a monopoly on the comedy scene it's not about the quality, it's about the money.

"Git r dun" Comedy Central because it's shameless not to capitalize on gimmick comedy.

Cr-AP-py

Well, so much artistic freedom.

The Associated Press is suing Shepard Fairey, a street artist from Los Angles known for his Obama campaign poster and USA network’s “Character of the year”, for copyright infringement.

It was a double-take for anyone in the artistic community. The poster was based off an AP photo of Obama shot during the past election season. But looking at the photo, there are minor differences, which should free Fairey of any liability.

For one, the head is cocked differently. The photo had his head tilted lower than the “Hope” poster portrayed our President. Two other differences, which may not hold up in court, are different color ties and a background devoid of the American flag, placed prominently in the AP photo.

What’s this world coming to? The AP is only suing because they’re upset he’s making money off of this. Last time I checked, and it was in the original article, it was a campaign contribution with little stipend. If there is no profit, there is no problem.

The AP is making way to big of deal out of this. American’s top used news wire is acting like a petty child. Do you want your blankey too, as this all gets sorted out?

But what’s next? Will comics get sued from any major publication for basing their jokes off a story written by another author? If so, Leno, Letterman and Conan are all in for a big surprise after this suit is over.

Between the three of them, based off the amount of time they’ve been on the air and the networks profits from advertising during their programs, the national debt could be paid off and the country’s economic crisis could be over.

It’s a strike to any one who is, was or wants to be an artist. Shame on you AP.

But maybe, just maybe, Fairey will reap sweet poetic justice.

Prosectuting Phelps

By Tim Bearden
Editor-in-chief

Michael Phelps, say it ain't so!

You apologized? Really? You're a gold medal Olympian, who was caught relaxing after a tough two years of training and you apologized for having a little "me and Mary Jane time?"

In my eyes, you had nothing to apologize for. More than half the country has at least tried pot once. You're not a headline, you're a statistic.

But now you must make another apology Phelps. You must apologize to 97 percent of the 26,000 CNBC viewers who are in favor of more lenient marijuana laws.

You have to apologize to the folks at High Times for losing a potential spokesperson. You can only print so many copies with Snoop Dogg on the cover ya know.

You may have been a cover story if you would have taken the Obama route and said, "Of course I inhaled, that's the point isn't it?" Then you would have been a reefer hero.

But nooo, you had to make your corporate sponsors happy? Otherwise how would you know what time it is without Omega. Hell, you may even wind up swimming naked courtesy Speedo.

So, there's another apology. What about all the women who wanted to see your toned package? Where's the remorse for them?

You've forgotton about this nation's progressive agenda, you have no respect for struggling publications and you've alienated at least half of the world.

In saving you're ass, you've forgotton the big picture of the little guy.

Keeping Warm With Three Legged Race

By Alex Joyce
Contributing Writer and Stand-up comedian

Chilly winter Fridays at the Apollo Theatre on Lincoln may seem rough, but non-stop laughs and some smart and funny sketches will keep you warm and toasty. Three Legged Race’s “Awkward Turtle” show makes it feel like a day at the beach. Definitely a top quality sketch comedy show in an intimate room for an affordable price.

I had seen Three Legged Race perform improv before at Johnny O’Hagan’s Irish Pub. They had all the tools and were quick on their feet then, so I expected them to bring the funny at a sketch show.

They didn’t disappoint.

Fourteen sketches, all got laughs. This is a show that had something for everyone ’s sense of humor.

This is a show with sketches about perverted muppets, amateur burglars, singing German men with mustaches, and a eulogy at a cat funeral. What more could you ask for?

All of the performers bring something to the table. Each of them complimenting the other making the show go smoothly and keeping the audience laughing. Their personalities easily lend themselves to a large cast of memorable characters, and a wide array of accents and personas make an appearance.

I have been to many bad sketch shows. Lots of them. But what's painfully obvious at a bad sketch show is how close it is to being a good one. There are one or two elements not clicking and it drags the whole show down. Not this show.

Three Legged Race have great writing, superb timing, interesting characters, and leave you wanting more. They truly commit to every character and the audience loves them for it. When there is a sketch about Bromance you can’t really half ass it. It came as no surprise they nailed it. A theatrical highlight for me.

The premises alone for the sketches make the show stand out. These aren’t your run of the mill, crazy cabbie, inappropriate co-worker type sketches. Extreme Homeless Makeover, and Tickle Bear stand out as very funny and bizarre enough for you to think about later and wonder “Jesus, how do they come up with this stuff?”

They are out of their minds. It’s a hilarious show that will feed anyone’s comedic appetite. It’s also an educational show; you will learn 17 uses for puke that I’m sure you never thought of.

This is a show that could easily be in a bigger venue in the near future. So, head down to the Apollo through Feb. 27, check these people out and support live comedy.

Alex Joyce hosts an open mic Thursday nights at Johnny O'Hagan's Irish Pub at 9 p.m.

Like this review? Want to see more? Be sure to check out Comedy Corner Magazine this summer. The reason you learned to read.

Show in progress

By Greg Landgraf
Member of Three Legged Race

Really, we’re lucky.

Three Legged Race opens its first sketch show, Awkward Turtle, at the Apollo Theater Studio on Friday at 10:30. That’s a little less than 48 hours away. The week before a show—any show—opens is, well, miserable. Cast and crew are exhausted, everyone’s stressed, and divas have a habit of turning their most diva-tacular.

By any theatrical standard, therefore, we’re in great shape. About the worst thing that’s happened so far is that tonight, the group collectively reached the conclusion that we’re incredibly sick of our closing song.

That’s not a knock against the song. I wrote it, about a year and a half ago, and frankly, it’s pretty darn infectious. So we’ve been rehearsing it for several weeks, but even before that we would sing it to each other as an odd form of greeting. If you come to the show, you’ll enjoy the song, and it will ingrain itself into your brain. (In fact, that’s part of our marketing plan: You’ll find yourself humming it and, well, have to explain yourself.)

We’ve just sung and heard it so much lately, if you hum it to us, you’re probably going to get smacked.

Beyond that, the process has been pleasantly free of drama. The cast, our director, and our understudy/tech person still get along. No one’s gotten injured or blown out vocal cords. Best of all, the show is pretty much ready: We did a run-through tonight with full props and costumes, and the number of glitches could be counted on one hand.

So what is the show actually about? Well, it’s a sketch show, so it’s about a lot of things: depressed dancing bears, cake and racism, Sesame Street, cats both dead and attack-trained, bat mitzvahs, and the love that exists between two guys. The common thread, though, is the hilarity of awkward situations. (The name, incidentally, comes from a hand gesture that can help you get out of any awkward situations: toss up the awkward turtle by putting one hand on top of the other, palms down; then wiggle your thumbs like two stubby little turtle legs; then yell out “Awkward turtle!”; and then get on with your life. People give it to me all the time.)

The show is also, in my decidedly biased opinion, terrifically funny. So I hope you’ll come check it out.

Awkward Turtle runs Friday nights at 10:30 from January 9 through February 27 at the Apollo Studio theater, 2540 N. Lincoln.